Fluent in Regret
(pieces from September 2001)

All is silent once more - deafeningly silent - and I cannot disillude my senses any further. I am tired of waiting for Eternity to whisper my name. No book or diary shall ever grant a glimpse of my heart, my tempestuous dreams, or my loss of faith in forever. She does not exist anymore. Once - not so long ago - I heard voices where silence now lies. They spoke of beauty and immortality with lips of velvet flesh. They mingled with the echoes of my childhood when I listened too closely. Their language imbibed my being, and I was fluent in their melodic tongues. Those tongues have been cut out. I know that I must harbor a regret somewhere; I feel its spindles puncturing the most tender skin of my memory. Regret, yes, but nothing I would not dare to indulge again. The face of Eternity is far too lovely to disappoint....although her kiss is more harsh than grief. And again, as once before, I have kissed her farewell. Eternity dances between us, and I hear her silently whispering of love and final hours. Tempting, she is, and I want with a fool's heart to trust her...and you. Fluency prevents such a blunder. I have heard this tongue before...and it lied. It told me beautiful things that weren't so, and then you disappeared. And all is silent...once more.